Speaking about chocolate mints, here are some wacky directions that came with them. Watch as I MST the passage.

Go ahead, enjoy a special moment

...Ah, that was fun. Now I can start eating the mints.

Indulge yourself with rich, smooth chocolate, kissed by a refreshing breath of cool mint.

If I've been breathing on people my whole life, does that entail I've been kissing them?

Its unique square shape fits perfectly in your mouth.

Yeah, seeing that my mouth is square-shaped, and one of these mints is big enough to fill every crevice in it.

Feel it glide across your tongue and glide back again.

Wow, it eliminates all friction imposed by my tongue altogether! And don't forget to make it glide back. That last part is important because it's italicized!

Now, just sit back, relax, and enjoy your smooth, chocolate mint experience.

Uh oh... that's where I break the law. I'm eating a mint as I'm typing this. Is multitasking not part of my smooth chocolate mint experience? Oh dear!

Welcome to Velamints.

Oh no... does this mean I've joined a cult?

Experience a world of smoothness in a little chocolate mint.

It fills my mouth, it's as big as a world, it's little... I'd tell the writer to make up his mind, but it DOES qualify as Engrish, so I'll let it pass.

Ah... MSTing brings back memories. Not that I am or ever was good at it.
4/27/2002 04:30:11 PM

All right then... you can still see the Pants Trance Dance if you missed it. I actually made that a long time ago and had to restrain myself from showing anyone. It was hard. Well, actually, the people of Bouncy Fish took a peek at it, but I should let them brag about it. And James saw it too. Whatever.

Before I start on my obligatory Chemical Brothers/Sasha/Digweed/Paul Oakenfold/Pete Tong concert recap, let me give you a short summary of my fellow travelers:
James - It's James! He's mellow, tall, looks nerdy (w/ glasses and freckles), stutters, and runs really fast. He owns the Midgar Swamp.
Felix - A British ladies' man born on the same day as I was. Known in my inner circle as the "other guy" from Midgard Supposedly gets a lot of tail.
Steve - Currently in a Matrix phase, Steve came to the concert dressed as a mix of Neo and Max Payne. Of course, he always dresses like that.

Now let's see. We all met at San Rafael High School (our rival high school) where James was kicking ass in a track meet. Steve, Felix and I exchanged numbers since we all brought cell phones and PDA's, being the major techies we are. James got 5th or something in the 2-mile, and we were on our way.

After eating crap at McDonald's (which I haven't done in years), we arrived at the Cow Palace. We didn't have to wait on any big lines, but they had a hell of a time searching Steve since he was wearing a leather trenchcoat. No cameras, cigarettes, or of course drugs were allowed in the Cow Palace, but that didn't stop anyone from bringing them in and using them in front of the security guards all night.

This was my first electronica concert, so I didn't know what to expect. What it turned out to be was a giant rave, with your run-of-the-mill candy raverZ with their beaded necklaces, tank-tops (men too), and pacifiers. And yes, they asked us a lot for water. We stuck together pretty much the whole night, and sometimes went up into the bleachers to rest our legs. We didn't dance, per se, but we jumped and shouted when we needed to. Steve stayed on the dance floor pretty much all night, so my cell phone came into use when I had to call him from the bleachers (not that we could hear each other).

And the music? Pretty damn good the whole way through. The concert was from 7 PM to 2 AM, and we were there for 5 out of those 7 hours, so I believe we may have missed Sasha and Digweed. But we did see the Chemical Brothers put on one fantabulous performance. At one time, James and I got up to the very front of the crowd to watch the current DJ do his duty. I think that at this time, James was completely stoned from some second hand smoke of some powerful marijuana, because he kept asking me where everyone else was. He'll argue this as he has been doing, but still I think that some of the drug usage there influenced him. I believe this concert was to signify the end of all the artists' tours, so the Chemical Brothers went all out with a light show, great mixes of their songs, and one wild crowd. Paul "Perfecto" Oakenfold came up afterwards, and he... uh... sucked. He didn't mix his own music most of the time, and his lightshow consisted of some music video repeating itself in the background. His performance drove us to shout "Oakenfold, show us your titties!" and then to leave. Well, it was time to go anyway.

As my first rave, it was pretty damn fun. And I got home before 2 AM so I'm not completely tired today. This day being the first day that I wear shorts.

Speaking about today, I bought Metropolis, and chocolate mints. I plan to watch Metropolis, and eat the mints. Not the other way around if there's any confusion.
4/27/2002 04:12:27 PM

Yes, I actually wore this to school today. And yes, I got lots of dirty looks from nonbelievers. And yes, almost all of my posters were RIPPED DOWN. (All they did was promote universal love and peace with the message "HAPPY PANTS DAY!!!"... jeez!) But I still had fun today. In this picture, I'm wearing four, count 'em, FOUR pairs of pants. And the buttons, commissioned by my friend 80's Guy, say "Happy Pants Day."

Axer got himself some space in this blog for showing me Raver Pants. I'll be sure to sing this to and from the event we're going to today.

I mentioned it before, but James, Steve, Felix and I are going to


...er, sorry. We're going to a giant mufukkin' concert at the San Francisco Cow Palace with the Chemical Brothers, Sasha, John Digweed, Paul Oakenfold, Pete Tong, and more. It'll be amazing if no one dies. I gotta give a shout out to James's mom (Word to your mother!) for offering to drive us in both directions. I guess she's glad that we (at least I) paid her back $40 for going to this thing. Yes, it's rather expensive to see these guys. But it'll be worth it. It'll be THE PANTS TRANCE DANCE.

Oh yes, and other people did pants things as well. My friend Jeff wore a Levis Hard Jeans shirt and crossed out "Hard Jeans" and wrote PANTS on the shirt for some reason. And he wore pants with buttons all over them. And my friend Simeon wore two pairs of pants (but that's because he's a big fellow, and the first ones have a rip in them, so he has pants under them). And even though 80's Guy didn't wear pants, he gets credit for making me those Pants Day buttons.

What did YOU do on pants day?
4/26/2002 03:56:46 PM


Yes, friends, it's Pants Day! Because of this, I give you an extra click to get into the main page, and a smaller webcam! Celebrate the joy!

Tomorrow morning... uh, that is... THIS MORNING, I will be trotting around school with multiple pairs of pants on! How fun fun!

Uh, yeah, I'm bored, so it's time to go to sleep. Yup.
4/26/2002 12:07:37 AM

Since I made it tonight for an upcoming internship position, I thought I might as well put up my resume for people to gawk and gaze at. For the full effect, download the Silkscreen font (or Mini7 font), as the titles are typed in that font. It's that "mini-type" font that's become popular on the net... it's eye-catching. Also, what do you think of my color scheme on the resume? I sure do like blue...
4/24/2002 10:33:18 PM

Although barely anyone who hears my MIDIs on the net know who really made them, it's always good to come across my work being put to use.

I guess my FFX Piano Theme MIDI was needed so badly before the game came out that some fool put it up as a converted MP3 on KaZaA. Without knowing it, I had it on my drive for a while. (I know it's mine because it's got the same imperfections). So if you're bored, you may be able to find my piano version converted by some person. It's called "Nubuo Uetmatsu - Final Fantasy X Intro Theme" (and remember to mispell Uematsu's name... whoever converted it was illiterate). Although I don't mind that my work is so popular without my having proper praise for it, I'm glad that I copyright my work and give each MIDI a signature so no one else can take credit for it. (I enjoy hunting down those who do.)
4/24/2002 08:29:33 PM

Yet again...



I'll be in #rpgcomics on server deepthought.nightstar.net tomorrow on April 25 for the Grand Countdown at 11:59.
Then everyone will put ON their pants (or two) and celebrate the glory of PANTS!

There'll be a surprise on the site on Friday.
4/24/2002 06:29:45 PM

It's the little things...

This whole website is funny - The White House - but check out the History page. This isn't big at all, but it made me crack up - look at the last picture in the little gallery. Tee hee!
4/21/2002 10:35:17 PM

I finally redid the sidebar and title images, and I added a Links page. Whew.

I often mention pages I like, or there are your own personal pages. If I didn't put them on the links page, please tell me.
4/21/2002 05:40:55 PM

My evening was cleverly spent. I've been neglecting Mr. TV for a while, since, uh, programming on TV SUCKS, but today since I was bored I decided to flip through the channels. I landed in the Wonderful Channel of 8, one of those channels that has different programming every day. On weekday afternoons, it's the California Music Channel - like a radio station with music videos... not like MTV which doesn't even show music videos anymore. Other times it's a shopping channel. And sometimes, it's Fuji-TV, a Japanese programming channel! Huway huway!

So believe it or not, I switched to channel 8 and Fuji-TV was on. What caught my attention was a SANRIO DANCE PARTY. Dozens of fat Japanese kids and multiple people in Hello Kitty and Keroppi costumes were dancing to the beat of this guy dressed up as a plastic cow. A 3D model of the same plastic cow guy danced along in the corner of the screen. It ended, and I was time for the next show, which I like to call...

FIVE MEN IN HAMSTER COSTUMES YELLING AT EACH OTHER. These hamster costumes only covered half of their body, so from under the stage, their hands controlled the hamster costume's hands. This girl quieted all of the men down and started a three-count beat. With each beat, she named a random color ("Midori! Aka! Chai!") and in the next three beats, one of the Hamster Dudes (TM) had to name three foods that were of those three respective colors. This went on and on until one of the Hamu-Foo's couldn't think of any food, and everyone else started yelling at him. By the end of the show, this one guy missed so many food names that he was smashed though a giant plastic cat's mouth at high speed, with cake frosting smothering his face. My sister even persuaded her friends to take a look at this.

Then it was time for THE BATTLE OF THE ASSISTANT DIRECTORS, which I think was the actual name of the show. The assistant directors (AD) of each show on the network were competing in some sort of "Land of the Lost" elimination game show, where in each round someone fell down from being spun around too much.
In the first round, four contestants were spun around really fast in these chairs while being presented with a Roman or Japanese symbol. When the chairs finally stopped, they had to walk along this catwalk, push a button at the end, and say what the symbol was. But since everyone was dizzy, they all fell off of the catwalk into some weird white powder (Anthrax? Guh-huh-huh) below. Nothing can be more fun than watching dizzy Japanese ADs coated in white powder and trying to pronounce "R."
The second round was like tug-of-war. With their hands tied behind their backs, two contestants had to wrap a rope around themselves. Whoever wrapped half of the rope first and touched the flag in the middle won. Of course, this too was very hard for all of them, as they still had Anthrax all over themselves and they kept tripping over the rope and landing flat on their faces. Ouch.
The third one was a test of STRENGTH~! and ENDURANCE~! Four contestants were lying on this this giant glass pane, which started to tilt vertically. The weirdos had to stick onto the thing as best they could, trying not to fall into the pit of balloons, angered seabass, and sharks with laser beams on their heads below. I didn't watch the whole thing, because without warning, the TV station switched to...


Well, the moral of the story is, Japanese TV is the only reason I plug the TV cable into the wall. And also, there are better ways to experience pure idiocy without taking drugs, especially on 4/20.
4/21/2002 12:48:04 AM